Archive | March, 2011

Not in a great state of mind :(

21 Mar

Salam,

 

As I’m writing this, I am not the usual me. I am now suffering the state of depression. I haven’t met the doctor yet and I wish there’s no need to see the doctor but seriously I can feel that I am not okay.

This week, starting from Sunday (2oth of March) where the school reopened, at the assembly, I feel the sudden blankness inside my  mind. My body was at the school, but not my mind. I was soulless.

Apart from that, I felt the lack of motivation to teach once I received the new timetable. I felt I’ve been brutally abused by the administration. I have classes till the last period for everyday. Unlike other teachers, they only have one or two classes at the last period. Instantly I felt I’ve not been treated equally just simply because I’m a young teacher.  Teaching English at noon is not easy.

I also felt that the I got the very low achiever class which they already knew the pupils’ achievement before they gave me  the class. I also been given a year 6 class which also a last class and a very low achiever class.

I thought I was able to teach these two classes and took it as a challenge for me to change the situation. But sadly not. I didn’t realize that this predicament has eaten up my heart. It has been a slow pain throughout the nearly 4 months and this week, everything burst up. I feel defeated.

I pity my pupils. They have to face the consequences. I realize that and I am so sorry for being such a bad teacher. Indeed I am a bad teacher. I cannot make them spell the names of days correctly. In fact, their are not able to spell the word ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ without looking at their exercise books. They are in Year 4 and still couldn’t spell that correctly. I am such a bad and incompetence teacher.

For Year 6, the stress to make them pass has also contribute to my depression. I got 0% of passers for recent exam and I know I have to explain this to the administration. I have no idea how to defense myself but I will be honest and say I am not a good teacher.

 

Which add up to the cause of depression.

 

And at the same day (20th of March), I received a letter which stated that I have to be the umpire for netball. I have no experience at all in this sport and by only attending one course of being an umpire, doesn’t mean that I am qualified to be one. This letter brought me back to an incident between me and this teacher, let me call her M. I detest M, seriously. M has been haunting me since last year with so many issues that clearly weren’t my business.  And this year M gave my name on purpose to the PK KO for me to attend that course. M mentioned that there’ll be another teacher to accompany me. But it’s all bull shit. I was the only one that attended that course. If I knew that will happen, I will say no at the first place. And today, I confronted M. Using jokes, it’s something like this ” Who the hell give my name to be the umpire at the first place” with the presence of other teachers. Being an utterly bitch, M replied ” I have no idea, they like your name perhaps” (of course she didn’t reply in English). Is M has an amnesia or what? Or M thought I forgot about it already. Hell to the no bitch. Stop messing with my life!

You might perceive me as inconsiderate, afraid to take the challenge and whatnot. But if you were about to do thing that is so out of your comfort zone, will you be depressed? I know I am now.

I’ve talked to the in charge person and regrettably, I still need to be there. So it’s fine for me but with condition that I won’t be the umpire on that two days and she agreed and promised and I hope she sticks to that.

 

This  again shows a clear evidence that I have been bullied by the system and this also one of causes that lead to my depression. I am so mad and sad at the same time.

 

I hate my school at the moment. I feel mentally and physically blocked to attend school.

I feel like I need new environment. I talked about this with my mom and sadly she said that I need to say for at least 5 years before I can transfer. I really hope that I am not crazy at that time.

I’m thinking of going away, take a week off and go to the beach. But I am sure thing will still be the same. Oh so fuck!

 

So, now, as I have mentioned earlier, I am not the cheeky, happy, positive me. I am now becoming more reserved and quiet and try to not be too out there because I am afraid I will lose myself.

 

I really hope this situation is temporary.

 

Please guys, pray for me 😦

 

Wassalam.

 

Beef Lasagna oh la la

10 Mar

Salam,

It’s been a while since I posted any new recipe that I’ve tried out.

Tonight, I want to share with you how easy it is to make your own lasagna.

I’ve tasted chicken lasagna at Secret Recipe which cost me around 12 bucks for a small plate. It was okay but I believed with another 20 bucks added to the 12 bucks, you can eat a whole lot more of lasagna and be satisfied with what you eat.

Easy. It’s like this. Homemade cooking = save money and extra satisfaction 🙂

So, last three weekends, I made a tray of lasagna. And it’s so damn easy to do. Trust me. Easy to do!

I used San Remo’s Instant Lasagna where you can find easily at any supermarket. Before this I thought it was difficult to find lasagna sheets but actually it’s in front of my eyes. I just missed it that inch! You can find it at the pasta section, along with spaghetti, macaronis etc etc

This is how the sheet looks like. You don’t need to boil it like the spaghetti. We use this sheet once the sauce is ready. So just leave it in the box until it’s needed.

 

For the recipe, I just used the back cover Simple Meal Idea recipe from the same box. Easy yo.

See it’s all written there. You just need to read it and follow the instructions 🙂 Super easy!

 

Basically, for lasagna, it’s all about the sauce. You have to make two sauces. The meat sauce and the cheese sauce. For the meat sauce, you can straightly use the spaghetti sauce (the ones in the jar like Prego) and heat it up. But firstly all you need to do is sautee the finely chopped onion and garlic.  After that, throw in the carrots and minced beef and sautee it until cook.

 

After the beef is slightly changed its colour to brown, pour in the spaghetti sauce and season it well with salt, oregano and some chicken stock. Stir it well until it cooks.

Oh, I did add 3 tablespoon of tomato sauce, just to have a sour taste to the sauce.

 

So the beef sauce is done in about 10 minutes!  Leave it there under slow heat. Let it simmers and the flavors will be intensely delicious!

 

So, moving on with the cheese sauce.  For cheese sauce, you can use either mozarella or cheddar cheese. I use cheddar cheese instead of mozzarella though I bought both of them.

 

 

First step is to melt the butter, about 2 tablespoon. Next add 2 tablespoon of flour and stir it gently for about 2 minutes over slow heat.  Remove from the heat, add 2 cups of milk. Return to heat and stir it continuously until it becomes thick.

Must be this thick okay…

 

It’s time for the cheddar cheese to work. Add in the cheese to the mixture over medium heat,

 

and mix them well until it turns out to be gooey. Season with salt and pepper.

Alright, the cheese sauce is done!

This would take about another 10 minutes to complete.

 

So 20 minutes for both sauces.

 

Preheat your oven at 180 c.

 

It’s time for the layering part!

 

Grease your baking tray with a bit of butter. You must start layering your tray with meat sauce first,  then arrange the lasagna sheet on top of the meat sauce and finish it off with cheese sauce.

Beef sauce at the bottom and lasagna sheet on top

and layer with cheese sauce.

 

Repeat the step until you got 4 layers of beef sauce, lasagna and cheese sauce. Most importantly is to keep the lasagna moist so more beef sauce is going to help you to achieve the desired lasagna.

 

Oh before I forget, finish it off with shredded mozzarella cheese.

 

Bake in the oven for about 35-40 minutes or until cook. Mom taught me to cover the tray with aluminium foil before you throw it in the oven. Why? So your oven won’t get dirty when the cheese melts down.

In the oven now.

 

And 4o minutes later, it’s done!

So 20 minutes plus 40 minutes, an hour altogether to prepare this comfort food 🙂

 

Nyum! Happy trying guys!

 

Eat me eat me :p

 

So easy and you can keep it in the fridge and preheat it in the microwave if there’s any leftovers 🙂

 

Do try ya 🙂

 

Till then.

Wassalam.

 

 

Love food: Jannah

Cousin’s Wedding :)

10 Mar

Salam

I guess my mood of blogging has suddenly erupted. Most probably I’ll be blogging more tonight. Lepas geram. Grrrr…

 

So this entry was meant for last week update. But because I was so lazy and plus tired, the entry is pending.

The wedding took place last week. Many congratulations to my dearie cousin, Tengku Sapinah, or Kak Pinah.

She tied the knot on Thursday’s afternoon and sadly I didn’t managed to attend the ceremony as I was still at school at that time.  Bummer.

But the kenduri was held on Saturday and Alhamdulillah I managed to be there for her majlis 🙂

 

Just some snapshot on that day. I was everywhere, from the kitchen to the front, making myself looked busy ;p

 

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The Kad Jemputan Kahwin. So simple. I kept it because I wanted to paste my timetable onto the card.

 

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Her house is just milestone from my grandmom’s house. Neighbors to be exact ;p

 

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The hantaran on that day. Minimalistic and simplicity were the main goal. Everything was just perfect.

 

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Here comes the bride and groom. And oh oh, see the bunga telur? I fold them you know. So that’s my contribution to the pelamin ;p

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See, my fingers turned pink because of the eggs. :p

 

As expected, the relatives were asking me when is my turn? So I diverted the question to my mom and walked quickly and gracefully out from the room ;p

 

 

Anyway, I wish my cousin and her husband to be happy for the rest of their life. Can’t wait for their babies to come :p

 

 

 

On a side of note: Me want to tawen-tawen too.

 

Wassalam.

 

Love love love: Jannah

 

 

 

Hey hey I’m back ^0^

10 Mar

Salam,

Hey bloggers, I’m back!

After a month of my disappearance from blogging, tonight I got the chance to write the impending entry (or entries).

Gosh I have so much to share here, peeps!.

But for the come back tonight, I would to love announce you that

IT’S SCHOOL HOLIDAY!!!!!

Yeehaaaaa..

For the east coast, holidays literally start today. And thank God that the pupils are having OTI this week. But it means that I have piles of exam papers to be marked down.

 

So school will be off from 11th of March till 19th of March which exactly 10 off days. Wehuu.

 

 

The kids are extremely happy with the fact they are dismissed from school ( for a week only!) after been working so hard studying for the exams. Glad that they are going to have a short break before coming back for new school session and learn and study harder for the Mid Term exam.

However, as today’s teachers, holidays don’t bring any meaning at all. Teachers still got to work and especially for the ones who are teaching the exams class- UPSR, PMR or SPM. I am 100% sure that the schools are arranging extra class for them. So holidays= no holidays.  But it’s fine for me. I am not planning any getaway so it didn’t bother me the most as long as I got enough rest which mean getting up at the really super later hours. Noons if I should write it down :p

 

Anyways, here’s some of the things that I am most definitely going to do during this break.

 

#1. Extra Class

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No need to comment on this. It’s pretty much expected that I have got class to teach during the break. I decided to conduct my class on Monday as I want to watch Melodi on Sunday :p

 

#2. Netball Practice

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So I have to be on the field (for 2 days) to watch the kids practice and also got the chance to practice my skills as umpire as I have been appointed to be Netball Umpire. Pretty cool huh? What a new experience for me ;p

 

#3. Exam Papers

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Perfect time for marking. Less rushing for the datelines.  The break is giving me ample time to mark the paper at ease. Alhamdulillah.

 

So that’s the must-do-things for my holidays. Other thing that I would like to do is to polish my cooking skill. Got to learn new recipes from mom’s cook book and bake more and more delicious food.

🙂

 

 

Yet, one thing that I would definitely miss about school is this little creature.  My handsome boy. My Belang.

He sure gonna lose some weight. No worries, mama will feed you with more Friskies. Promise!

 

 

So what’s your plan for holiday?

 

Have a good one!

 

There, my first entry since last February 🙂

 

 

Wassalam,

 

Love: Jannah